today at first was quite fun one, went to play bball w/ xiaomei and sally early in the morning, then got no one to snatch the court frm us summore...

but then later when i go to the ngee ann poly mass comm interview, it became worse... haiz... there were two women there, and they ask me questions like "why do u wanna join mass comm?", "wat do u know abt mass comm?" and i didn't know much abt mass comm and one of them said i wasn't suited for this course... haiz... she din say it once, she said it abt 2-3 times... i really wanna tell myself that i can dun care abt wat she say, that i know i'll get in, but it's impossible... after wat she said, anyone will know that i won't get in this time... haiz... this is the first time i feel so lost over a failure... i really wanted to go to ngee ann poly! and now even though i get into temasek, i won't be happy now... do u know their media and communications the facilities in tp are smaller and lesser than np? np got one big building specially for mass comm, tp the mass comm students still muz share w/ the business students... haiz... well at least if i go tp i'll get to be w/ ting... and beak, if she chooses hospi... but i feel so useless! i met up w/ native malay later and she sorta scolded me, asked me y din i go do research when she'd told me to... truth was, i think she did tell me, and i think i forgot... so, technically, it's my fault, so i've only got myself to blame... and yes, i do blame myself... but it still hurts whenever i think abt wat that woman said: "i think u'd be better suited in another course..."

xiaomei also told me today that alex actually liked her since he knew her... my reaction? i was indifferent... i was quite surprised at myself actually... shows that i dun crush him anymore, which is good... i'm quite proud of myself... hahaah... now i have no dui4 xiang4 at all, but i feel very kong1 xu1, haahhaah... but be so boycrazy also no good lah... hahahaha... and diana also told me that....... TORO GUY GOING SP!!!! takako, heard that?!! so if i can go np, then i maybe can take same train as him liao!!!! it'll be the same as last time, only this time is take same train, not bus! BUT..... i may not get into np anyway... i'm so sad...

WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! I WANNA SCREAM NOW!!! diana, toro guy's ex classmate, came online juz now and suddenly sent me this pic of him... and while it was still transferring, she said she had to go offline... ARRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH... lemme punch someone now... she purposely 调 my 胃口 one lor... shit...