everyday, i find new reasons to remind myself why i should give up on toro... i realise i've lost touch w/ news concerning him... if not for wqyl where i can see him occasionally (like when he was the dance tcher for 王小甫舞蹈教室), i'd prob not know wat he's been up to all this while... i dun even watch 东洋大人气 anymore... i used to, but that was before my mtv decided to scramble itself up whenever it came to 5pm... it was as if it knew that i wanted to watch toro on tv and it didn't want me to... and i can't possibly watch the rpt at 7:30pm cos my family will be watching the 7点档... worse still for the rpt at 6:30am in the morning... i'm not such a crazy fan until i'll force myself to get up at unearthly hrs juz to see someone who was once and (i regret to say this) somehow still is (for some weird reason) the love of my life...

i dun even bother to check his yahoo grps for any news on whether he's coming to sg or not, cos seriously, there's no use and neither am i interested... have u realised how i always get my news frm other ppl and not i find out myself? that's how bad i am... i'd rather spend my time online chatting to frens and reading fics than go and read online news abt him... the news can't be trusted anyway... actually, i dun even do anything of the above-mentioned (i.e watching shows, reading news) even for eg anymore... guess my enthusiasm for stars has kinda died off... unfortunately, it's more than i can say for my love for them... -_________-" i'm probably juz plain lazy... i haven't given up my dream to become a singer yet but i've a feeling it'll die off as well and i dun want it to cos wat's a person w/out dreams? but i seriously feel that there are so much more ppl out there who deserve to be stars more than i do... there's en for example... there's one girl who has talent!

this is juz an entry full of self-bashing so to anyone who reads this, there's no need to post a comment or anything cos i'll prob be fine by 2ml... but even if i AM fine, all these thoughts will still be hidden somewhere deep w/in me waiting to be dug up again when the time comes... so....... i dunno where i'm going w/ this entry anyways...

in other news today, A LITTLE GIRL JUZ VOMITTED IN DOME!! ew... i dun wanna go into details, but the family could at least give us some tips or something for our hard work rite? they din even leave a single cent! and do u know how disgusting it was to clean the puke up? yucks... *scarred for life*