i hate financial problems... i really do... today, i made the most convicted decision i ever did in my life... i decided not to go to the fireworks fest AT ALL... it's all i can do not to cry cos i really wanna see toro and energy but i guess i can deal... i keep telling myself it's for my sake so i won't get so hung up over him... but it really hurts u know? and i guess huimin was kinda taken aback today in the library:

huimin: but do u really like him?
me: i do...
huimin: no, really...
me: *stares at the ceiling* YES...
huimin: *silent for awhile* oh...

hahahahaha... guess i scared her... she went back and told carissa abt it... feigned a smiley face but i was thinking that it IS kinda scary that i'm so hung up over him... but i'm really SAD... well at least on the 8th, instead of going to the fireworks fest (goodbye my LG... T_T), i'm going to xiaomei's bbq where i'll drive myself crazy playing bball... wish i can stay overnite there but i can't, cos next day have eg autograph session at an unearthly hour...

11.30am!!!! they're nuts, i tell u! and i can bet w/ u they'll surely come late lor, knowing them... and the other spastic thing is that they'll be holding another 3pm thing ALSO at IMM, which is totally stupid... -___________-"

i talked w/ psycho sis over msn and i think i'm gonna teach tuition to help w/ the finances at home... great pep talk, ya! and i'm really worried abt daddy... amos juz told me he (daddy) borrowed money frm him again and he (daddy again) has no money at all... i'm really REALLY worried... i dun want him to like stop eating or something juz to give us an unnecessary $5 or $7 when i can do w/ $2 or $3 a day if i want to... it'll prob make me stop spending so much anyway... cos if i have the extra cash, i'll eat ALOT, which is really scary... -_______-" i'm forcing myself not to eat so much anyway... have to tell myself: SAVE MONEY, GROW THINNER... lol... but anyway, i'm really worried... and to think i ALMOST agreed to watch movie w/ carissa and huimin... not that i dun want to, but i need to have discipline to stop spending money...

PEONAAAAAAAAAAAAARD, i know ur reading my blooooooooooooggggg.... stop being a stalker and leave a note can???? wahahahahaha...