Eep. The last few days have been very confusing indeed. Especially the first day of Open House.

The tutorial and the Open House. All confusing. Really.

But I think Beak knows what I'm talking about lah, about the Open House thing I mean. Hahahaha...

Urgh, I hate trying to write without giving away too much when I'm so used to just dumping whatever I'm thinking of onto this blog. ARGH!! Believe me, there's soooo much I wanna say. It's killing me to keep it inside.

Ok, maybe I should just shut up and start writing about stupid mundane stuff.

Like how the turnout was good for the first 2 days of OH, but sucked on the last day, which was yesterday. Even for Jam & Hop too. But oh well, FO's Jam & Hop was always better than OH's. Lol...

But I really had lots of fun during OH. I managed to finally have a try at the I-Guides dance (since the song is my favourite). I'll definitely miss Za, who's been so loveable since I first met her. =) You'll always be my favourite subcomm. ^^

Saw quite a lot of Mr. Eye Candy too, which is even better. =) Although Ah Ji kept trying to saboh me. Hahaha...

Managed to see so many people whom I haven't seen in ages. Eugene, Chee Keen, Francis, Alvin, Ah Tan, Lester, Ah Fat, Korn, Flan, Charles Pong, Jah Mes. LOL... Almost all guys. Hahaha...

Went to 85 after Jam & Hop with Jah Mes, JY, KC, Ah Ji and Jia Jia. Charles Pong came over later to join us. 请你跟我这样做! ^^

I think I've got a lot of blue-blacks on my waist from Jia Jia's poking. Everytime she found something funny (either me or someone else), she would poke me. She kept poking me nonstop for the last 3 days! Very fun is it? Later you pay for your Ah Bu's hospital fees ok. -.-"

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm making use of you. I know you love me unconditionally, and I love you too. But it's not unconditionally, which makes me feel guilty like shit. You have no idea how much. I wanna love you as much too, but... Whenever my problem is around, I start making use of you, and I don't think you know it.

I can't let you know about it too. I know you'd be disappointed, you'd scold me, like you did last time. But I can't stop doing it. I wish I could. I just wanna say I'm sorry.

I wanted to cry yesterday, I felt so horrible. I can't go on like this. It's really killing me. It's so drama, I know. I never thought it would happen to me. I wonder how long more of this I can take. And even if all of this ends when I graduate, can I go on? Knowing that I won't have anymore of this. I have a feeling I can't, but I have to force myself to anyway.

Jin and Han Ee mentioned a line in 'White Lies' on Friday. They didn't know how much it hit me, because I'd heard it once before. Junsu knows me best. =)

Beak's right. 3 years is a long time. Should it stop?